Money Money

As I ponder re-entering the workforce, I have been thinking a great deal about money lately. Hubs and I have always been fairly conservative spenders. We have no debt, with the exception of a car loan. In the past, we have bought our cars in cash, but with the rates so low, it made sense in this case to hang on to our savings in case we find a house.

Our spending habits are really important because we've been living on a single income for almost three years now. Before that, when I had my business, we spent some of the money I made, but we were careful to keep our main expenses covered with Hubs' salary.

The cost of living is high here and it is financially challenging to live in Boston. For the first time in years, it looks like we might need my income, especially if we buy a house. Still, some of the things I am considering may not pay very well or at the very least may have some ramp up time, so this issue isn't going to go away.

Luckily, I am the queen of the budget squeeze. Whether your goal is to freelance or try something new or be at home with the kids (or in my case, all three), and because you asked (you asked, right?) here are my top five ways to live with less:

1. Start where it doesn't hurt that much. For me, these were little things. I no longer buy paper towels. I use washcloths instead and then toss them in with my whites. Granted I am only saving around $10 a month, but that $10 didn't hurt a bit. I switched to single ply toilet paper because it is half as expensive, better for the environment, and works just as well (really). I buy generic whenever I can. For the most part, I don't notice any of these things. I still buy organic, but on the small things, I cut corners hard.

2. Reign in the convenience spending, like ordering a pizza or having dinner out just because of a busy evening. This one is really important. We certainly enjoy a delivered pizza, but if we're going to spend the money, it should be on a planned expense when we're going to enjoy it. This one takes a little thinking through, you'll need to take a look at your budget and find out where these things happen for you. I try to have extras on hand to prevent these "emergencies," and I I have found that this area is one where I can save quite a bit.

3. Pick your luxuries, but don't keep adding to them. I use a pricey brand of foundation. Instead of buying all of my makeup from that company, I pick the things that I must have, and substitute with cheapie lip gloss from Target. You have to be tough with yourself on this one. There are going to be things you have to live without, but it doesn't mean you can't still have a few of your favorites.

4. Speaking of Target, stay away from temptation. If you're like me, you can't make it out of certain stores without a few extras, so I only go shopping when I need something. For the most part, I stick to my list. And when I find myself picking up an entire set of acrylic outdoor wine glasses in the middle of winter, I stop and ask "do I really need these right now?" If the answer is no, I put them back. If I decide that I need them in the summer, they'll still be there. Buying ahead to save money makes sense, but don't be tricked into buying things you don't need because of "a good deal."

5. When you really need a fix, shop your own house. Or at the very least, hit a consignment store. Sometimes, you just want a little some thing new. When this happens to me, I rearrange things in my house. I move accessories or artwork. I swap the pictures that I have on display. If that still isn't doing it, I will hit a consignment shop. I am convinced that almost everything that I have ever wanted has already been purchased and tossed out by someone else. This one isn't as hard for me, because I love vintage items. But even if you aren't, you might be surprised what you can find at these places. I've snapped up brand new high end jeans for $8. When I looked them up, it turned out that they could only be purchased in London and usually retailed for around $145 a pair.

6. Oops, did I say 5? As for a budget, have one. You can't keep a close eye on it, if you really don't know where the money is going. It doesn't have to be complicated, a simple software program connected to your bank account will do. I use Quicken and it takes about 5 minutes every few days. After gathering the data for a few month, run some reports and get cracking.

Once you get going, it isn't really that hard. Because I still spend money on the things we really value, it doesn't feel like we are making huge sacrifices. And I have found that this lifestyle has helped me identify what is really important to me.

What is "real"?

One of Little Guy's current favorite books is The Velveteen Rabbit. The story, in case you aren't familiar, follows a stuffed rabbit on his quest to discover how to become real. At the end of the story, the toy rabbit has been discarded but the playroom fairy finds him and turns him into a real live bunny. Although he is no longer needed by the little boy, she tells him that he can become real because the boy once loved him.

There are many discussions among my writer friends about what makes a "real" writer. Like the rabbit, we're all on a quest to define real, to understand real, and to get real. There are the diehards (cough, liars) who say they do it for the shear joy of it, but most of us agree that getting published is the ticket to becoming real.

So when I think about The Velveteen Rabbit story, and the message behind it, becoming real might be as easy as having one person who loves you, or in this case, one person who loves your story.

Unfortunately, that one person is an editor, just as elusive and mysterious as the fairy.

Days Longer and Shorter

As we move out of winter, the days are starting to get longer. It has been a hard winter, but I can't say I am ready for spring just yet.

The extra sunshine is lovely, but it also means that Little Guy is starting to wake up earlier. He has always been one of those children that wakes at daybreak. We have blackout shades in his room and yet still it seems like his body knows when the sun is starting to come up. Today he woke at 5:45 and it was still just dark enough that I could send him back to bed for a few more minutes, but that will end soon too.

Every writer has an ideal time of day to write. I wish I was one of those evening people or the ones up until all hours, but I'm not. My best work happens before noon, but the mid morning hours are usually busy with the family, so to capture it, I have to get up before everyone else.

As spring approaches, the early waking means that there will be less of my best morning creativity. The days will get longer until finally it is summer when both kids are home and it seems I never get any decent work done. Though the turning point for daylight happens in late June, I never notice it until July, and even then, it will take much longer for me to make the shift. Hot, stagnant, marked by dull lack of progress, dog days indeed. By August I will barely be writing.

Now I am looking back on the time I've lost, the dark January mornings that I didn't get up. One day my children will be old enough to get out of bed on their own. Or they'll finally hit the phase where I am dragging them out of bed. Until then, I'll be looking forward to fall, and even now as the snow is still melting, I find myself thoroughly excited about next winter.

I swear

So my son dropped the f-bomb yesterday. I wish I could say it was the first time. I wish I could say that I have no idea where he heard it.

Yes. I swear.

It's the last of the vices. Since becoming a parent, I've given up the late nights, toned down the booze, and I always buckle up. I eat better. I'm on time. I barely watch TV. Gone are the gossip magazines, the massages, and the aimless afternoons of retail therapy. I wear comfortable shoes. My couch is neutral and scotch-guarded. I drive a mini-van.

But the swearing? I haven't been ready to give it up. And yet, it isn't enough for me to tell him not to do it, so it looks like I'm going to have to clean up my act.

Damn.

Something you aren't (yet)

A writer friend and I have been kicking around whether or not to attend a local writing conference. The event will have a series of short lectures, a keynote, and, for an extra fee, a marketplace with agents and publishers. Neither one of us are even close to shopping a manuscript, but the rest of the conference might have something to offer. We've been debating the expense, whether the short lectures are worth the time, and most importantly, whether we're ready to mingle with the other writers.

It reminds me of something that happened early on in my business. Within a few weeks of opening my store, a guy came in. He was impressed with the store design and the lighting in particular. He asked if I could sell the lighting. Since I had ordered so much of it, technically, I could be a dealer. Because it was so early and I was so eager to make money in any way, I told him that yes, of course, I was a dealer. I went to the back to pull the catalogs, but realized too late that they only contained wholesale pricing, and worse, I didn't have a plan for pricing in place.

At that point, I should have gone back to the guy and told him that I'd need some time to get the catalogs together. Instead, I grabbed a sharpie marker, and started marking through the prices. Of course, the black ink wouldn't dry and I smeared marker on my hands. The rest of the book had pricing too and it would be impossible to mark every page, so I tore out the pages in question. Red faced, I handed the guy a few crumpled pages with smeared marker on them (and me). Needless to say, he didn't come back to order lighting from me.

There is something to be said for not trying to be something you aren't, yet. I am a fiction writer. I am writing fiction. But I am not a mature fiction writer. The writing isn't going to be as easy as the lighting could have been, yet I feel okay with the fact that I am right where I am supposed to be. I think the important part is that I am up front about it from the beginning.

So the big question is, will my friend and I attend the conference? Maybe. Either way, you can bet that I will definitely leave the sharpie markers at home.