Getting some zzzz's

I finally started sleeping with my husband again.

No, I don't mean that.

I really mean sleeping.

I have been fighting some terrible insomnia since my son was born. When it first started happening, I researched cures. I tried teas and baths and mantras. I visited an acupuncturist and kept a sleep journal. I practiced visualization techniques, counted backwards, and read books until my eyes stung from the effort. Still, I could not sleep. I tried medications and suffered side affects almost as bad as the sleeplessness.

The more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. At one point I was living on around three hours a night, and they weren't even three consecutive hours. It was hell.

Gradually, it got a little better, and I found that if I slept on the couch, I could squeeze out five almost consecutive hours. After being so exhausted, the couch sleep was such a gift and so I stuck with it. Eventually, I moved on to two hours in bed followed by four or so on the couch. That went on for quite a long time.

While I was grateful for the rest, I still missed waking up next to my guy in the mornings. Plus, there is something about having such a crazy routine that made me feel, well, crazy. And sort of like I had this weird big secret. I kept trying to give up the couch, but I would just lay there awake in bed, anxious about not getting up. I needed the couch, and was all the while totally aware that it was all in my head. Like I said, crazy.

And then recently something strange happened. I started sleeping through the night in my bed again. I still wake up and toss around, but I can fall back asleep. I still have a routine to get to sleep, but I am in bed, next to my hubby until morning. And I am sleeping more solidly too. All this, unexpectedly, after feeling pretty sure that I would never sleep through the night again. It's heavenly.

And it all started when I started getting up early to write.

Uh huh. I know. Crazy.