Thursday, August 6, 2009

Ending the cold war

I am fighting a little cold this week, and by fighting I mean that I am ignoring it and pretending that my scratchy throat, stuffy nose, and tightness in my chest simply don't exist. Both of the kids are getting over the same thing and Hubs has it too. He has it so bad, in fact, that he worked from home for a couple of days.

The first day, when he called in sick and went back to bed, I felt so annoyed. How come he gets to be sick? I thought to myself as I grumpily made him some tea with honey. But lately I have been working on changing the dynamic between us, so I didn't say a word and resolved to try to nurture him a little without letting him know how put out I felt about it. As I busied myself with breakfast, it occurred to me that I could have a sick day too.

I just don't ask for one.

When I wake up with an illness, I weigh the possibilities. I try to figure out if I am really sick, whatever that means. I mentally calculate the number of the things the kids will need and the effort it would take me to translate that information. And finally, I feel so guilty about asking Hubs to rearrange his day, that I usually just pull myself out of bed and get on with it. And you know what? That has everything to do with me and nothing to do with Hubs.

So I am drafting a peace accord with myself. I have been waging a one-sided battle and really, how ridiculous is that? The next time, I promise myself I am just going to surrender and ask for help.

I mean, you know, if I am really sick.

1 comment:

latisha said...

love this post. so well said. and something we need to remind ourselves too often. i sorta feel like i want him to nurture me once in a while, without asking, so it's best to keep it to myself....

p.s. hope you all feel better soon.