Tuesday, June 28, 2011


We always planned on having two kids, but then we had Girlie and were pretty sure we weren't doing it again. And by it, I mean it, on both accounts, the making and the birthing because having a child not only rocked our world - it pretty much took us to the back shed, whipped us both silly, and then dumped us off miles from home, leaving us both lost along the roadside for a few years (though, at least together, at least that).

Eventually, around age four things got a little easier or maybe we just got used to not knowing what we were doing. Either way, we started thinking about another child, about getting back to the original plan. We started having dates and it was back on the table. When Girlie was five, we had Little Guy.

For about six months after he was born, I thought I had accidentally made the most brilliant parenting move in the history of family planning. Having children with a large age split meant that Girlie was pretty independent by the time Little Guy was born. Watching my friends with kids close in age struggle with the baby-toddler thing, I figured we had done it right.

Except that there are few economies with two this far apart. No same interests, no playing together except when older is tolerating younger, lots of juggling big and little interests. Lots of juggling. Granted, a shorter age gap never guarantees these things, but there are some areas that would be easier if we'd gone ahead and had a second child before five years had passed. We could have two in school, a kindergartner right now. We could be well past the tantrum stage, saving the nine year old some humiliating trips through the Target parking lot. We could be nap free on weekends and able to let them both run the neighborhood unsupervised after dinner. They could watch the same movies.

Except, I always have to wonder, would my second child have been Little Guy three years earlier? Or is there a split second, a single moment, when a person comes to be?

Because there is that certain part of it - the thing that has nothing to do with timing.

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