Happy New Year!

This time last year I was so relieved to be saying goodbye to 2007. It was a year of mixed blessings, the highlight being the birth of the little guy. The six months after he was born were probably the worst of my life. I had a breakdown of sorts and it took some medication and therapy to get through it. I developed a horrible case of insomnia and the stress of having two children, a business to run, and two parents with pretty severe heath issues seemed like more than I could bear. Even though I was well on my way to recovery by the time we rung in the new year, I still felt pretty wrecked. But that is the beauty of a new year. It gives us a place to start fresh, a threshold from which to launch our hope for better times, and a moment to reflect on the time that has just passed.

If 2007 was a year of bumps and bruises, then 2008 was certainly a time of healing for me. This spring I sold my business and we pulled up stakes and moved 2000 miles west. Although I miss my store terribly, I feel so liberated. I have come to realize how much I needed a pause in the crazy pace I was keeping. As I ponder 2009, I feel so optimistic and excited about what the year may bring. Sure, I want to lose 10 lbs and start running again. Of course, I want to eat healthier and get back into yoga. I would like to start having people over more often and expand our group of friends here in Phoenix. But most importantly, and here is the one I'll stick to, I want to write and write and write.

I just expect things to work properly...

I wouldn't say I am a pessimist, but then again I tend to think that a glass half full is still only half full. Half empty? Half full? How about a full glass? Now we're talking! Anyway, I tend to view things with a cynical but optimistic eye. In other words, I expect things to suck, but hope for the best anyway.

So my vacuum cleaner is now around five years old and I honestly haven't used the thing in years. When we moved to Arizona and I sold my business, I also sold my biweekly paycheck, so one of our budget cuts involves me cleaning the house again. Every time I take it out to vacuum, I dream of a Dyson. The Cadillac of vacuum cleaners. When the English guy on the commercial says "I just think things should work properly." I swoon a little. I am sure that this machine could make my carpet stand up and sparkle. I just know that I could get used to my first house without hardwoods if I owned the gleaming yellow model of centrifuge engineering. I try to justify the gazillion dollar price tag. It would protect the carpeting and beautify the house. It would banish microscopic dust that we are certainly inhaling. An investment!

As usual, I was grizzling over the vacuum cleaner while trying to clean up the remnants of our Christmas tree. This thing just doesn't work! I turned it off and started poking around the bagless filter, checking the hoses for clogs. Suddenly I discovered a hidden compartment! Filled with dust! Huge chunks of five years worth of disgusting dust! And a washable filter! Turns out I didn't need to get a Dyson. I just needed to get a clue. I took the vacuum cleaner completely apart, cleaned it out, and guess what? It works like a charm.

It seems like lately my cynicism is overriding my optimism, especially with products around the house. Nothing really seems to last past a few years and instead of taking the time to really investigate, I wrote off my vacuum cleaner as another disposable purchase. I can still remember my Mom cleaning with an old stainless Hoover that she got when she and my father got married. She wouldn't have dreamt of tossing out a five year old vacuum cleaner and I shouldn't either. I am sure a Dyson would fulfil its promises, but right now my budget is prodding me to stick with my good old standby. So for now I will put off indulging in a luxurious new vacuum cleaner and treat myself to a nice bottle of wine for my outstanding handiwork on my existing machine. Now where is my half full glass...

Amazing Grace

This year it has been a little harder to get into the Christmas spirit. It probably has a great deal to do with my minimal holiday decor. After five years of owning a gift store, I gave myself a big old break on the usually insane pace of December and barely got a wreath on the door. I can blame it on the little guy and girlie too. While I am busy handling this little crisis...

or making sure this doesn't go disastrous...
I haven't been too motivated to deck the halls. In all fairness we did whip together a Charlie Brown tree from Home Depot. We did hang stockings. We baked a few holiday treats. We drove around and admired other people's lights. I drank some wine (hey that's holidayish isn't it?).

So few days ago in a last ditch effort to dig up some merry making, I splurged on tickets to see the Soweto Gospel Choir. The concert was a beautiful mix of traditional African music and gospel. The harmonies were both melodic and mesmerizing. Near the close of the concert, the group sang Amazing Grace. It was phenomenal. By the end of the song, tears were streaming down my cheeks. And there it was, the Christmas spirit. The grace of God that can't be found in the mounds of wrapping paper and piles of cookies, but can only be felt in the heart. Amazing.

Ode to the cookie

Oh Christmas cookie, I see you over there with your coy come hither look! Don't bat your sugary little lashes at me! I will not be won over by your buttery charms this time! I will not nibble you into oblivion like your partners in crime. I know your little game! You will let me think I have conquered you. You will lead me to believe I have banished you from existence, crunch by flaky crunch. I will sweep your crumbs away, hiding the evidence of my indiscretion. I will dab the powdery remains of our meeting from the corners of my mouth. Yes, I will have regrets, but once you are gone I will feel relief. I will be able to move on.

But you won't really be gone will you? Oh no. Like the stealth snack you are, you'll be back. Just when I have forgotten you, I will find you again, snickering and squishy, hanging over the waist of my favorite jeans.

I'm the DJ, he's the wrapper...

How is it possible, that keeping it simple for the holidays is still so much work? I am sorting the gifts for the kids and wrapping my stuff for hubs today, since he'll be home next week. I am not crazy about projects with scissors and tape, so I will be sticking hubs with wrapping the kids stuff! I noticed that my pile for girlie is twice the size as the one for the little guy. I feel a little bad about it, but not enough to buy more presents. He is only 16 months old and I am thinking he won't notice. Besides, it's kind of hard to spend real money on presents for a kid who can still entertain himself by kicking a bowl around the kitchen. Truth be told, I have been holding back art supplies and things I would have normally bought for the kids (like new slippers) to beef up Christmas a little. It's not that our daily finances have changed that much, but since our nest egg is a little scrambled I feel like we should be more careful...