Thursday, April 9, 2009

Secrets revealed!

I watched Oprah the other night. For some reason, it comes on in the evening here in Arizona. I hardly ever tune in, but one of my favorite "Mommy bloggers" was going to be on and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to hear her commentary.

The topic was nothing new. The Secret Lives of Moms. As if any of the complaining we all do is a secret. Now you can blog, twitter, write a book, and even be on Oprah to expose the hidden truth about motherhood.

Basically, it sucks.

Well, not all of it, but certainly a large part. And I agree. It is really really hard. And confusing. I got a degree, blazed trails in the workplace, and at one time had my own separate identity. Now I change diapers and spend my day talking in a sing song voice usually reserved for communication with crazy people. Like the women on the show, I share the frustration of being thrust into a role that there is no way to prepare for.

But I think we all already know that. There was probably a time when women suffered silently, but it seems that time has passed. Now we all suffer out loud. And really, I am getting tired of discussing the topic as if it was some big secret just being revealed.

Don't get me wrong, it should be talked and blogged and twittered about. I mean, that is what I am doing on this blog almost every day. It's just that we need to move past the OMG stage and start working on the IYKWIM stage. It is, after all, now an acknowledged fact that modern motherhood is a mixed bag. By sticking with the comedy routine stereotypes, we risk not moving forward.

Maybe there is no real answer to be found, but some intelligent discussion about where we have landed as a post-feminist post-opt out generation seems necessary. We're not isolated in our homes like the 50's housewives, we're not burning our bras and demanding jobs like Gloria in the 70's, we're not all working full time, we're not all staying home, but we are all still living under the myth that you can somehow have it all.

So now what?


latisha said...

well done cheri. seems to be in the air. im not an oprah person but if shes doing a show on it, the topic must have risen to the surface again.

great commentary about the whole OMG thing. wondering about the other letters - couldnt figure it out sorta like a license plate. then i thought of the INRI christian thing. okay so please translate for idiots.

as an aside, i really enjoy your blog. you have a new expression of all this mommy stuff and i get so tired of reading about it (like you said) ive moved on to nonmommy blogs. I really look forward to your posts however, and when i open all my 'blogs i follow' to read their updates, i always save yours for last.

thanks again for sharing.

Mental Momma said...

Thanks! I appreciate your comments so much.

The second set stands for - If you know what I mean - so we move past the shock and awe stage to a general acceptance...

Elizabeth said...

Well said. I thought the same thing when I saw the commercial for Oprah. I wound up DVR'ing the episode and then deleting it when I decided it probably wasn't going to cover anything new.

Maybe you should write a little note to Ellen to suggest such a discussion. She and Oprah seem like perhaps frenemies...